he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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