you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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