he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
