how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
