he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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