went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
