in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
