i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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