I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
