that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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