I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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