he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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