I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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