So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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