But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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