i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
