eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
