i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
