oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize