Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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