He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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