They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just high enough for therapy.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
