i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
