We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
