all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
