I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
