I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
How naked do you want me to be?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
