she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
my poor anus
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
