people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
