Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
zippers are such a cool invention
operation have a gay friend backfired
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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