Farmville is her only friend.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
