I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
