.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
