I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
