oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
