i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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