I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
