I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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