Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
