she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
