i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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