Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
