singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
