hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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