Its about making memories worth repressing
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize