Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
