hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
