Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
