The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
