This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
