We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
