HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
This house was built for laser tag.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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