Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
